A few weeks ago, I put a bunch of angry music on my iPod - Led Zeppelin, The Who, Living Color, Disposable Heroes, Rage Against the machine. I did this because I was feeling so much anger, frustration and hopelessness about so many things that I couldn't do anything about.
Recently, I've been feeling more sad than angry - sad, grief stricken, overwhelmed by a sense of loss about the same things. So last night I changed the music on my iPod. I loaded the soundtracks from The Red Violin, The Sweet Hereafter, Portrait of a Lady, Amelie and Gladiator. Lots of piano, strings, recorder and flute. This music seems to lift the sadness and carry it away in much the same way that I believe incense carries our prayers to heaven.
A line from the song "Courage" on The Sweet Hereafter sound track sums things up for me right now - "The human tragedy consists of the necessity of living with the consequences".
I miss making music. I started singing in choir in elementary school. I also started playing the violin then. In 7th grade, I had to choose between choir and orchestra so I gave up the violin. I sang all the way through high school. I played the guitar for awhile in high school but then everyone played the guitar in those days!
In college, I stopped making music - no more choir, no instrument. I've never stopped listening to music and singing along. And of course I sing at church on Sunday mornings. Over the years, I've thought about picking up the guitar again or learning to play the recorder or the ukulele. For a while, I thought seriously about learning the accordion or the concertina - but some people laughed at me so I gave up that idea. Besides, accordions and concertinas are expensive!
These days, I'm seriously contemplating learning the ukulele. I really believe that making music again would be a good thing for me to do.
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